Blog Tour: No One Leaves the Castle by Christopher Healy

Christopher Healy's The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom is one of my all-time favorite middle grade series (read my review here). So when Walden Pond Press asked if I would like to participate in a blog tour for Healy's newest book, I was elated. But then when I discovered it took place in the same world as the Hero's Guide, I was even more excited. My entire reading experience wasn't just about following along with the mysterious quest of the main character in this novel, but also to find all of the Easter eggs from the Hero's Guide (I will have to re-read the series to find them all, I'm sure). 

My favorite thing about Christopher Healy's books is that because he leans into humor rather than drama, that makes the fantasy setting more bearable for someone like me who doesn't love fantasy novels. Because I'm too busy laughing, I don't have time to think about how I normally shy away from fantasy. 

If you or a young reader in your life love mystery, fantasy, and humor, add No One Leaves the Castle to your TBR! And most importantly, you don't have to have read The Hero's Guide series to enjoy No One Leaves the Castle (but I recommend you read it sometime in your life because it's one of the funniest series in all of children's literature). 

ABOUT THE BOOK
Agatha Christie meets the Brothers Grimm in an unexpected, hilarious, and wholly original new fantasy-mystery from the beloved author of The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom.

The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve.

None of that is true. Yet.

In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta see their chance to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.

When they get to Castle Angbar, however, and meet the Angbar family and their servants and guests—an unsavory group of nobles, mages, and assorted creatures, each more shady than the last—the Lilac begins to wonder if the reward is worth the trouble.

And that’s before the dead body is discovered.

Now everyone is magically sealed inside the castle—and there is a murderer among then. If the Lilac wants to make it out with her reputation intact, it’s going to be up to her to figure out who the killer is. But everyone in the castle—even the Lilac herself—has secrets to hide, and as the walls literally start to close in around them, the Lilac worries that her first job as a bounty hunter may be her last….

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Christopher Healy is the author of the New York Times Book Review Editor’s Choice The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom and its sequels, as well as the Perilous Journey of Danger and Mayhem series. Before becoming a writer, Chris worked as an actor, an ad copywriter, a toy-store display designer, a fact-checker, a dishwasher, a journalist, a costume shop clothing stitcher, a children’s entertainment reviewer, and a haunted house zombie. He lives with his family in New Jersey. You can visit him online at christopherhealy.com

Blog tour stops: 

August 2 Nerdy Book Club (@nerdybookclub)

August 7 Bluestocking Thinking (@bluesockgirl)

August 8 Teachers Who Read (@teachers_read)

August 12 Maria’s Mélange (@mariaselke)

August 15 A Foodie Bibliophile in Wanderlust (@teacherlibrarianbeth)

August 18 Satisfaction for Insatiable Readers (@grgenius)

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No One Leaves the Castle by Christopher Healy

Publication date: August 15, 2023

Publisher: Walden Pond Press

Pages: 384

Genre: Fantasy/Mystery

Audience: Middle grade

Disclosure: ARC received from publisher

Purchasing the book from the above Bookshop affiliate link supports independent bookstores and gives me a small percentage of the sale. 

The Midwest Survival Guide: How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat... Everything with Ranch by Charlie Berens

Charlie Berens is a journalist and comedian known for his hilarious videos on social media that celebrate life in the Midwest. Some of my favorites are his series on Midwest Nice:

Part 1 
Part 2
Part 3

What Charlie Berens does so brilliantly in The Midwest Survival Guide is that he made the culture of being a Midwesterner not just a source of poking fun, but also of pride. Despite his hyperbolic cultural touchstones of the Midwest, there's also a great deal of truth in his hyperbole.

As a born and bred Midwesterner, I have often felt that sense of being excluded from distinctive cultural humor and conversations of the United States. Not only is the Midwest considered flyover country, it also tends to get overlooked in terms of discussions about what makes a person culturally Midwestern. We hear all the time about what makes a person a Southerner or a New Englander, for example, but rarely do we talk about the culture of the Midwest. So when Charlie Berens talks about the fashion of the Midwest, the debate over casserole vs. hotdish, the long goodbye, and of course, the beauty, humor and practicality of the word "Ope," I have to say... I felt seen.

After a difficult year that left me in quite a reading rut, I read/listened to this book in less than two days. I highly recommend reading and listening to this book concurrently because you miss something from only doing one or the other. If you only listen to the book you miss out on all the charts, maps, and illustrations. If you only read the book, then you miss the very best part of the book in my mind, which is hearing Charlie Berens' endearing and exaggerated Midwestern accent.

This will definitely be one of my favorite books of 2021.

The Midwest Survival Guide: How We Talk, Love, Work, Drink, and Eat... Everything with Ranch by Charlie Berens*
Published: October 5, 2021
Publisher: William Morrow/Harper Audio
Pages: 272
Audiobook length: 6 hours, 5 minutes
Genre: Humor/Nonfiction
Audience: Adults
Disclosure: Library Copy/Audiobook provided by publisher

*Purchasing the book from the above Bookshop affiliate link supports independent bookstores and gives me a small percentage of the sale. 

Nothing Rhymes with Orange by Adam Rex

Poor orange. In a rhyming picture book about fruit, he feels left out. But even when Friedrich Nietzsche gets a rhyming couplet, orange starts to feel even more excluded.

This is an absolutely hilarious picture book that will appeal to both younger and older readers. Younger readers certainly won't get the Nietzsche reference, but they will get that it's meant to juxtapose the unfairness that orange doesn't get to rhyme with anything while a long, unusual name like Friedrich Nietzsche gets a mention?

This page took the book from funny to me laughing so hard I was crying

Nothing Rhymes with Orange by Adam Rex
Published: August 1, 2017
Publisher: Chronicle Books
Pages: 48
Format/Genre: Picture Book
Audience: Primary/Middle Grade/YA/Adults
Disclosure: Library Copy

If you buy this book or any book through Amazon, it is my hope that you also regularly patronize independent bookstores, which are important centerpieces of thriving communities. While I am an Amazon Affiliate, that by no means implies that I only buy my books through their website. Please make sure you are still helping small, independent bookstores thrive in your community. To locate an independent bookstore near you, visit IndieBound. 

My Drunk Kitchen by Hannah Hart

Fans of Hannah Hart's YouTube series My Drunk Kitchen will be further smitten with this "cookbook" of the same name.

If you've never seen My Drunk Kitchen before, do yourself a favor and go watch an episode. I guarantee you'll find yourself watching about 5 or 6 instead of just one. Here, I'll help you get started with this epic episode where Hannah cooks with Jamie Oliver. Basically, Hannah Hart parodies the genre of the cooking show with both humor and grace, and that is what you will also find in her "cookbook" as well.

I keep using the word cookbook in quotes because, let's be honest here, this isn't really a cookbook. No one is going to buy this to try to make anything therein, and yet, Hart has mastered the art of cookbookery without actually having written a serious cookbook. But despite the humorous, fun parody of the cookbook genre, the book has an underlying depth and heart to it once you root through all the puns and silly humor. 

As John Green states in the foreword of the book: 

...this is the wonder that is Hart's drunk kitchen: Whether you are deep in sadness or the happiest you've ever been, Hannah Hart knows how to make it better. She makes you feel less alone in the dark night of the soul, and even more joyful in the good times. 

So even though no one will open this book for the recipes, they will stay for the nuggets of humor and wisdom, such as: 

WARNING: Cooking in an oven, on a stove top, or on any heated surface (including city sidewalks in summertime) should only be attempted while accompanied by an adult. And by "adult" I mean someone who isn't drunk. It can be your kid sister too. She seems pretty responsible for a sixteen-year-old. I mean, she's always reading those YA books, so she must have learned a thing or two about life.

PRO TIP: It's always good to be eating while you're making something to eat so that way you don't eat it all if you're supposed to be sharing. 

LIFE LESSON: You might not at the standard of living that you aspire to achieve. But be patient. And sometimes eat some comfort food that you've sliced into a sushi shape. 

My Drunk Kitchen: A Guide to Eating, Drinking & Going with Your Gut by Hannah Hart 
Published: August 12, 2014
Publisher: Del Rey Street Books
Pages: 240
Genre: Humor/Cookbook
Audience: Adults
Disclosure: Library Copy


If you buy this book or any book through Amazon, it is my hope that you also regularly patronize independent bookstores, which are important centerpieces of thriving communities. While I am an Amazon Affiliate, that by no means implies that I only buy my books through their website. Please make sure you are still helping small, independent bookstores thrive in your community. To locate an independent bookstore near you, visit IndieBound. 

Tea Rex by Molly Idle

Dear Mr. Rex,

It has been so long since I have seen you.

Do drop by on Friday afternoon for a cup of tea.

Your friend,
Cordelia

When children play "tea party" it is very often one of the few times you observe them behaving quietly and minding their manners. Which is why Molly Idle's Tea Rex is such a fun, hilarious read. The children in the story are minding their manners and following all the proper proceedings of a dignified tea, but their guest, Mr. T-Rex, can't help himself. He's trying to very hard to be mannerly, but he just can't help what he is: a carnivorous beast.

And yet, despite being a carnivorous beast, there is something so endearing and almost gentle about Mr. Rex. It isn't presumptuous to say that readers of all ages will fall in love with him. The second person point-of-view and "fish out of water" main character immediately put me in mind of my favorite picture book of all time, Is Your Buffalo Ready for Kindergarten? by Audrey Vernick. I could see using this book as a mentor text to have students write their own "fish out of water" stories.

Books similar to Tea Rex:
Flora and the Flamingo by Molly Idle
Is Your Buffalo Ready for Kindergarten? by Audrey Vernick, illustrated by Daniel Jennewein
Teach Your Buffalo to Play Drums by Audrey Vernick, illustrated by Daniel Jennewein
Dragons Love Tacos by  Adam Rubin, illustrated by Daniel Salmieri
Boy and Bot by Ame Dyckman, illustrated by Dan Yaccarino
Ribbit! by Rodrigo Folgueira, illustrated by Poly Bernatene


Tea Rex by Molly Idle
Published: April 9, 2013
Publisher: Viking Juvenile
Pages: 40
Genre: Picture Book/Fantasy
Audience: Primary
Disclosure: Purchased Copy

Guest Post: Why I Won't Write by Zahra Seyam

For those of you who don't already know, authors Kate Messner and Gae Polisner along with Jen Vincent from the blog Teach Mentor Texts are hosting a virtual writing workshop called "Teachers Write!" I love the concept of this workshop because it reminds us of the need to model a writing life for our students, not just teach it. 

I have always wanted to write a novel so I had planned to participate in this workshop, but last week I started a two-week graduate course called "Teacher as Writer" that, given the title, basically utilizes the same concept as "Teachers Write!" And let me just tell you, this is the most liberating class I've ever taken in my life. I will be sad when it's over on Friday. We basically get credit for showing up and writing, every day, 9-3. And we get to choose our own writing projects. At first this was a bit unsettling because as the ever dutiful student, I wanted a syllabus, a calendar of due dates, and a rubric detailing how we would be graded... all the things students expect in college.


Instead, we come to class, start with a writing prompt that everyone signs up for one day to lead, and then spend the rest of the day writing and meeting with critique groups.


One of my classmates in my critique group, Zahra, wrote this piece that I'm posting here called "Why I Won't Write" and in addition to being absolutely brilliant, it will also induce tear-stained laughter. As she shared this piece with our critique group, we were roaring with laughter the entire time. She explained that her inspiration for the piece was because about 20 minutes into the first day of class, writing for such a sustained period of time became a kind of slow and unending torture. I figured most of us could relate and would appreciate the sentiment.

Why I Won't Write by Zahra Seyam

I must be the biggest fraud. An English “teacher” and lover of books, has trouble writing for a sustained period of time. I am a smiling Judas to my writing. I confess that at times, I wonder if I am committing the ultimate betrayal. I just never have the patience to sit and write. Procrastination becomes the drug of choice - “Surely, now is the time to check Wikipedia about the French revolution, or I wonder how I could create the largest vegan tarts? Hmm I’ll need to learn the chemistry RIGHT NOW.”

It’s not until the last minute that I scourge for moment to find a computer and frantically write. I’ve come to regard writing as a chore most like exercise: sporadically accomplished, problematically regulated.

Writing is like a muscle. It is the tendon that connects to nerves and pain through thought and expression. It has places of particular soreness whether insecurities of my sentence structures or word snafus.

Its proximity to pain and empathy renders it like the nerves and tissues that rupture and tear. And because I don’t practice it regularly or in moderation, easing into it is taxing and daunting. Monday’s class proved one thing - this writing muscle is a sloppy, cottage cheese ridden hot mess. Yes, I know the benefits of this exercise, and I’ve hypocritically shelled out all the advice to everyone, “Walter Mosby says he needs to write every day to stay sharp.” “Writing and reading go hand in hand.”

So what is the problem? Why won’t I write? Freud wrote that the subconscious minds reveals the trauma and desires that won’t be expressed. His seminal work recognized that the psyche itself was a text that manifested itself through our phobias, repetitions, fetishes, and bizarre behaviors. So why am I self-sabotaging? Am I scared of what I can become? Perhaps worries that I do not have the witty repertoires and anything worthy to say. There must be a fear of failure or worse, what if I work so hard and still fall short into mediocrity. The old adages of “there are no losers because at least you tried” are apparently too trite for my ego. Instead I succumb to the debilitating comfort of laziness.

            “I would go to Pilates but I’m just so busy” (As I post this on tumbr).

            “I should totally get around to writing that novel - and I totally could if I wanted - but I’m ever so busy experimenting with pastry dough and re-watching Game of Thrones.”  

Why push yourself? Why can’t I just bloody do it?! The fear of putting ideas into writing is too official, too real, too naked, and too much work. I can distinctly recall a once frequently visited Jillian Michael’s DVD where she ominously barked at me,

            “ 30 minute workout means no rest. Take a second if you need - but ONLY a second. No breaks, we want to put pressure on your body to force it to change. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to suck, but it takes 30 days to build a habit and by then it’s won’t be so bad.”

Yes, all right I understand the truth. One cannot help but notice the parallels of truth spouting from a TV trainer in spandex. Trying to control the monkey mind and harbor him on paper can become mind numbingly painful. The agony of control takes over. Suddenly, the wrist becomes unbearably sore. The keyboard is a bed of daggers. The chair sits ready to hold you down for shock treatment. And my eyes become soooo heavy. SO. DRY. They burn like Odysseus after gouging his own eyes after recognizing the product of his truth. The fear of failure rings menacingly like an unsuspecting threat sitting and waiting to pull you back. Where is the runner’s high for writers? No, we only have revisions, editing, and consumption. We only have an emblem of a moment or thought that can look repulsive tomorrow. I am too scared to become as Dr. Frankenstein-tied to a horrific vision of myself-signified by my monster and haunted by my creation. So what can be done?

This muscle is lazy. This muscle needs to sweat. This muscle writes like it is chubby and easily out of breath. It needs no fad diet, no shake weight or Ab flex machine.

Vladimir Nabokov placed note cards near his pillow at night where he took down notes whenever inspiration hit. His nightmares, visions, his fantasies could not wait for the right time or place. They couldn’t wait for the right excuse. No waiting for a laptop, a better pen, or the morning light. He is my daily affirmation; he is my writing fitspiration.

Note to self:

Always soak fingers in milk immediately after handling hot peppers. You will save yourself and your eyes so much grief later!

I like to think my kitchen "accidents" are akin to Tim the Tool Man Taylor's home improvement accidents - minus the hospital visits.

What's been your stupidest kitchen accident?

Mine was when I almost chopped off part of my finger with a chef's knife. But the Multiple Injuries Award goes to the times I've 1) Grated my knuckles with the cheese grater and 2) Burned my hand on the saute pan that I just took out of the oven. I have learned my lesson on the latter, however, and keep an oven mitt securely on the handle until the pan cools.