The "Did Not Finish" Chronicles: Sekret by Lindsay Smith

 Goodreads Summary:
Yulia’s father always taught her that an empty mind is a safe mind. She has to hide her thoughts and control her emotions to survive in Communist Russia, especially because she seems to be able to read the minds of the people she touches. When she’s captured by the KGB and forced to work as a psychic spy with a mission to undermine the U.S. space program, she’s thrust into a world of suspicion, deceit, and horrifying power where she can trust no one.

She certainly can’t trust Rostov, the cruel KGB operative running the psychic program. Or handsome Sergei who encourages her to cooperate with the KGB. Or brooding Valentin who tells her to rebel against them. And not the CIA, who have a psychic so powerful he can erase a person’s mind with his own thoughts. Yulia quickly learns she must rely on her own wits and power to survive in this world where no SEKRET can stay hidden for long.

 I really, really wanted to like this book. I mean Cold War Soviet teenage spies? This had slam dunk written all over it. I am fascinated with all things Cold War and Soviet Union. But here's why it ultimately failed for me: there was too much internal conflict. Normally I love internal conflict. I'm a character driven girl myself, but a novel about Russian spies begs for an external conflict and as I said, there was way too much internalizing going on here. I realize the main character has psychic powers and that needs a level of internalizing, but it still didn't work for me. I abandoned the book after 100 pages. Maybe it picks up and gets more action-packed later in the novel, but I had already lost interest to wait and find out.


Sekret by Lindsay Smith
Expected Publication: April 1, 2014
Publisher: Roaring Book Press
Pages: 337
Genre: Historical Fiction
Audience: Young Adult
Disclosure: ARC acquired through NetGalley

The Geek's Guide to Dating by Eric Smith

Goodreads Summary:
You keep your action figures in their original packaging. Your bedsheets are officially licensed Star Wars merchandise. You’re hooked on Elder Scrolls and Metal Gear but now you’ve discovered an even bigger obsession: the new girl who just moved in down the hall. What’s a geek to do? Take some tips from Eric Smith in The Geek’s Guide to Dating. This hilarious primer leads geeks of all ages through the perils and pitfalls of meeting women, going on dates, getting serious, breaking up, and establishing a successful lifelong relationship (hint: it’s time to invest in new bedsheets). Full of whimsical 8-bit illustrations, The Geek’s Guide to Dating will teach fanboys everywhere to love long and prosper.

I'm going to be honest right up front: I didn't actually finish reading The Geek's Guide to Dating. It's not because I didn't like it, on the contrary. I found Eric Smith's voice delightfully humorous and fun to read, and I loved all the 8-bit illustrations peppered throughout its pages. I especially loved the video game references and tropes, along with the second person narration, referring to the reader as Player One in search of a Player Two. But here's why I just couldn't bring myself to finish it: I'm an old married lady who doesn't wish to relive my single days. I have been with my husband for twelve years, married for ten of those twelve, and quite frankly, I am grateful I don't have to deal with the dating scene anymore. Maybe there are some married people out there who long for their freedom-wielding single days but I am not one of those people. And reading this book reminded me how much I'm glad to be away from my single days. 

But if you are single and you just happen to be a geek, Eric Smith's guide will surely put a smile on your face and maybe even teach you a thing or two. I could envision this being a great stocking stuffer for the geek in your family.


The Geek's Guide to Dating by Eric Smith
Published: December 3, 2013
Publisher: Quirk Books
Pages: 208
Genre: Nonfiction
Audience: Isn't it obvious in the title? ;) 
Disclosure: Book provided by publisher

The Did Not Finish Chronicles: Rose by Holly Webb

From Goodreads:
Rose isn't like the other orphans at St Bridget's Home for Abandoned Girls. Instead of dreaming of getting adopted by loving, wealthy parents, Rose wants to get a job and be independent. She doesn't need anyone but herself. She finds her escape working as a maid for Mr. Fountain, an alchemist. Unable to ignore the magic that flows throughout the grand residence, Rose realizes that just maybe; she might have a little bit of magic in her too. This new series featuring magicians, witches, talking cats, mist-monsters, and friendships will have young readers in a trance.

If the road to hell is paved with adverbs as Stephen King says it is, then reading this book will send you to the fiery depths. I try really hard to avoid snark in my reviews because I know how hard writing is but I'm sorry, excessive use of adverbs is a literary crime I cannot forgive. This book could have been one that I would recommend to students in search of their next Harry Potter fix, but alas, I can't bring myself to recommend it to kids, especially given the fact that even my former sixth graders would not have committed such a writing faux pas as to favor adverbs over strong verbs, which negate the need for adverbs in the first place. Holly Webb did not learn this lesson, stringing endless sentences with adverb after adverb, often unnecessarily, as in this sentence:

"What are you doing in my room?" Rose hissed angrily.

The attribution hissed already demonstrates anger. There is zero need for the adverb angrily to be in that sentence. 

But there was also use of adverbs that, while technically words, just sounded wrong:

Rose peered out the corner of the window at the street below, watching interestedly as two little girls walked past with their nursemaid.

And that was the first sentence. It was at that moment I knew I probably wouldn't be finishing this novel. I mean, yes, interestedly is a word, but it completely halts the flow, something I think a writer would want to get right on her very first sentence of the book. And as I mentioned above, even my former sixth graders would have looked at that first sentence in a rough draft and said, "That just doesn't flow right. I think I need to reword this."

So after reading a little over 100 pages of nonstop adverbs, I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. My frustration and snarkiness was clouding my ability to even follow the plot. But if you're someone who doesn't get bogged down by a writer's craft choices, I imagine that this is a lovely little story; I just couldn't find it because I was too busy hunting for adverbs and trying to come up with ways the author could have reworded the sentence to make it stronger. 

Now some may read this review and say, "Who does she think she is? Her writing isn't exactly Pulitzer Prize worthy." And you're absolutely right. It's not. But as an educated reader, I know a thing or two about published writing, and to me, an editor should have picked up on those excessive adverbs and asked the author to revise for better flow. When I read a published work of fiction, whether it's for adults or children, I want it to read like a published work of fiction instead of something a fourth grader might have written.


Rose by Holly Webb
Expected Publication: September 3, 2013, originally published in the UK on August 6, 2009
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Pages: 240
Genre: Fantasy
Audience: Middle Grade
Disclosure: ARC received for review from publisher

The "Did Not Finish" Chronicles: Insignia by S.J. Kincaid

From Goodreads:
More than anything, Tom Raines wants to be important, though his shadowy life is anything but that. For years, Tom's drifted from casino to casino with his unlucky gambler of a dad, gaming for their survival. Keeping a roof over their heads depends on a careful combination of skill, luck, con artistry, and staying invisible.

Then one day, Tom stops being invisible. Someone's been watching his virtual-reality prowess, and he's offered the incredible--a place at the Pentagonal Spire, an elite military academy. There, Tom's instincts for combat will be put to the test and if he passes, he'll become a member of the Intrasolar Forces, helping to lead his country to victory in World War III. Finally, he'll be someone important: a superhuman war machine with the tech skills that every virtual-reality warrior dreams of. Life at the Spire holds everything that Tom's always wanted--friends, the possibility of a girlfriend, and a life where his every action matters--but what will it cost him?

Yes, once again I'm going to be THAT person. The one who couldn't get through a book that everyone else loved. I just couldn't get behind Tom as a protagonist and given how little I enjoy video games and war stories, the only "in" this book had for me was that everyone else was saying how amazing it was. I was counting on the main character to propel me through the parts of the plot that didn't interest me but alas, he could not do it.  

Despite my inability to get behind the main character, I am glad I still made the attempt to read this book. It is a book I know I can recommend to boys because, well duh, what boy doesn't like war and video games? Okay, okay. I know that is a totally stereotypical comment but as a teacher, I can't deny that preferences tend to align with gender. Does that mean I don't try to get kids to go beyond gender preferences? Definitely not. But I also know I will do whatever I can to get a kid to pick up a book so if I have to pander to gender preferences, I will.

Insignia by SJ Kincaid
Published: July 10, 2012
Publisher: Katherine Tegen Books
Pages: 444
Genre: Science Fiction
Audience: Young Adult
Disclosure: Advance Reader Copy

The Did Not Finish Chronicles: Eat the City by Robin Shulman

From Goodreads:
New York is not a city for growing and manufacturing food. It’s a money and real estate city, with less naked earth and industry than high-rise glass and concrete.   Yet in this intimate, visceral, and beautifully written book, Robin Shulman introduces the people of New York City  - both past and present - who  do grow vegetables, butcher meat, fish local waters, cut and refine sugar, keep bees for honey, brew beer, and make wine. In the most heavily built urban environment in the country, she shows an organic city full of intrepid and eccentric people who want to make things grow.  What’s more, Shulman artfully places today’s urban food production in the context of hundreds of years of history, and traces how we got to where we are.

 In these pages meet Willie Morgan, a Harlem man who first grew his own vegetables in a vacant lot as a front for his gambling racket. And David Selig, a beekeeper in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn who found his bees making a mysteriously red honey. Get to know Yolene Joseph, who fishes crabs out of the waters off Coney Island to make curried stews for her family. Meet the creators of the sickly sweet Manischewitz wine, whose brand grew out of Prohibition; and Jacob Ruppert, who owned a beer empire on the Upper East Side, as well as the New York Yankees.

Eat the City is about how the ability of cities to feed people has changed over time. Yet it is also, in a sense, the story of the things we long for in cities today: closer human connections, a tangible link to more basic processes, a way to shape more rounded lives, a sense of something pure.

Of course, hundreds of years ago, most food and drink consumed by New Yorkers was grown and produced within what are now the five boroughs. Yet people rarely realize that long after New York became a dense urban agglomeration, innovators, traditionalists, migrants and immigrants continued to insist on producing their own food. This book shows the perils and benefits—and the ironies and humor—when city people involve themselves in making what they eat.

Food, of course, is about hunger. We eat what we miss and what we want to become, the foods of our childhoods and the symbols of the lives we hope to lead. With wit and insight, Eat the City shows how in places like New York, people have always found ways to use their collective hunger to build their own kind of city.

So "did not finish" is perhaps a misnomer since I did technically finish this book, but since I skimmed a whole lot of pages, I decided perhaps claiming to have read this book in its entirety would be less than honest. It started off strong and held my interest in chapter one as Shulman talked about the passionate beekeepers who live in New York City and what they have done to make beekeeping a viable (and legal) option in the urban landscape. I was riveted as I read about bee swarms and the strange, alarming phenomenon of glowing red bees that produced bright red honey. 

But I found that the more chapters I read, the less interested I became. I got so bogged down with all the different names of people she talks about throughout the entire book, and found myself bored with some of the history (the chapter on sugar especially) that I just couldn't focus and thought to myself, "This isn't interesting, next page." I said this to myself quite a lot while I was reading. 

I thought this would be a great book for me to read since it's a foodie book, but I think it appeals more to people who like reading about history than food. It would also be more relevant and interesting to people living in New York City I think. Shulman is a very strong writer, but the subject-matter just didn't appeal to me as much as I thought it would.


Eat the City: A Tale of the Fishers, Foragers, Butchers, Farmers, Poultry Minders, Sugar Refiners, Cane Cutters, Bee Keepers, Wine Makers, and Brewers Who Built New York by Robin Shulman
Published: July 10, 2012
Publisher: Crown
Pages: 335
Genre: Nonfiction
Audience: Adults
Disclosure: Book received for review

The "Did Not Finish" Chronicles: Paris in Love by Eloisa James

From Goodreads:

In 2009, New York Times bestselling author Eloisa James took a leap that many people dream about: she sold her house, took a sabbatical from her job as a Shakespeare professor, and moved her family to Paris. Paris in Love: A Memoir chronicles her joyful year in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

With no classes to teach, no committee meetings to attend, no lawn to mow or cars to park, Eloisa revels in the ordinary pleasures of life—discovering corner museums that tourists overlook, chronicling Frenchwomen’s sartorial triumphs, walking from one end of Paris to another. She copes with her Italian husband’s notions of quality time; her two hilarious children, ages eleven and fifteen, as they navigate schools—not to mention puberty—in a foreign language; and her mother-in-law Marina’s raised eyebrow in the kitchen (even as Marina overfeeds Milo, the family dog).

Paris in Love invites the reader into the life of a most enchanting family, framed by la ville de l’amour

I was so excited to get an offer to review Paris in Love because I love travel memoirs. I was certain this book would be right up my alley (I mean, my blog has the word "Wanderlust" in the title. How can I pass up a travel memoir?) And I'm sure it would have been, had this book been given a narrative structure rather than, well, I don't know how to describe the structure. It was told pretty much in Facebook-status-update-sized vignettes. And while I love telling my own little stories to my friends and family via Facebook, I'm not going to compile all of them and put them in a book. 

The book didn't feel crafted; it felt slapped together. I could assemble all the posts I've written about my teaching life on Facebook and make a book out of it, but to me that's not writing; that's just slapping something together. The difficulty of writing is honing your craft to create an engaging narrative or informational piece of text. As someone who hopes to be a published writer someday, I'm kind of irked by the way this book was put together. I mean, anyone can assemble Facebook status updates, paste them into a Word document and turn them into a book. To me, the purpose of a journal/writer's notebook or even social media is to inspire bigger writing projects, not BE the writing project.


Perhaps I just missed the point of the book, I don't know, but I like to sit down with a book and have it be a continuous narrative. I want to invest in the people and conflicts that are going on. Instead, all this book does is give you little scraps of scenes that do nothing to tide you over. They merely make you hungrier for something more sustaining. Even if the book were a series of essays, that would be more satisfying and sustaining than the little snippets of unrelated text you get on each page:

But maybe for someone else this is just the type of book that they need. Short, quick, and with little emotional investment. That's just not the type of book for me. 



Paris in Love by Eloisa James
Published: April 3, 2012
Publisher: Random House
Pages: 272
Genre: Nonfiction/Travel Memoir
Audience: Adults
Disclosure: Title received for review