Me most recent Facebook post:
Arrrr.... I be a pirate with a snaggletooth, mateys. I be half blind in one eye and broke me paw when I be a pup, so where's me hook and eye patch?
(This is our loveable pug Guenter who almost lost his left eye to a corneal ulcer and did, in fact, break his left front paw when he was a puppy, so we often say that we should dress him up as a pirate for Halloween)